The Ten Commandments Of A Happy Marriage
Thou shall respect the other’s right to think for himself / herself- You married an adult who is deemed old enough and mature enough by the law of the land to vote for electing the nation’s Government. Surely you are no one to do otherwise. Let your partner have the right to his or her thoughts, opinions and viewpoints. If you happen to think differently, well, agree to disagree and let it be.
Thou shall make time for your partner- You made an effort to make time for them while courting and wooing them. Why stop now! Just the fact that two of you now live at one place and hope to be together for long should not become the excuse for not giving each other time on one to one basis. Every second, minute, hour, day and year counts. The moment gone is precisely that, a moment gone. Whatever your other commitments, let your spouse have time alone with you. And the two of you will grow together, not grow apart.
Thou shall be honest but never brutally so- Honesty is the best policy but brutal honesty is a bad policy in any relationship, especially marriage. Don’t fudge or lie, but learn to sugarcoat the bitter advice you give to your husband or wife. Shush the critic in you, make the home truths mellow. Believe me, fellows, this is real good advice for a happy married life.
Thou shall remember to be a friend as well as a spouse- You are fortunate indeed if Cupid’s arrows still hit when you look at each other across a crowded room a few years after you said ‘I do’. Passionate intervals can come and go; friendship however can be a constant presence every single moment of your days together. Believe me, abiding friendship is the secret to many-a-rocking marriages. And lack of friendship is the reason many marriages are on rocks.
Thou shall never run down in-laws, especially in front of witnesses- You are not supposed to love each and every person your spouse loves. But you are expected to be civil, polite and attentive towards them. They matter, and you can’t change the genetic fact that your better half shares his or her DNA and much more with them. Don’t get effusive, if you can’t but don’t blow your fuse either. And to remind you politely that’s exactly what you would expect you’re your partner when it comes to your own parents, siblings, aunts, uncles…
Thou shall lend a hand in household jobs- Ah; for reasons that require no explanation, this one is more for husbands than wives. For most husbands, it’s a woman’s domain to run the home to sweep, clean, cook, wash, launder and do the dishes. Times have changed. Modern marriages are about partnership and fair division of labor. Lend a hand at home, if you want your marriage to stay happy.
Thou shall always put oneself in the significant other’s position before having expectations- Every time you feel shortchanged by your better half, so much so that he or she starts appearing more like the ‘bitter half’, stop right there. Put yourself in their shoes, evaluate the situation from their point of view and then decide. Chances are that your irritation will have receded somewhat if not fully.
Thou shall talk as well as listen – Surely you are aware that the recent decades have been termed as the ‘decades of communication revolution’! Well, look closer home and to revolutionize your own marriage, start communicating. And remember to never forget that communication is a two way street. You talk patiently, you listen even more patiently. Your partner does the same. And that’s how it should be ‘till death do you part.’
Thou shall remember to make romantic gestures- Courtship is not just for those who plan to walk down the altar some day. Even though hooked, booked and cooked, do continue to romance your mate. Occasionally, if not daily. Keep doing those sweet little things (chocolates, flowers, surprise notes, small gifts, remembered birthdays and anniversaries, words of sympathy and other gestures of the similar kind) that touch the heart and make him/ her smile.
Thou shall not commit adultery- Elementary, my dear Watson. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Put simply, stay faithful and you can reasonably expect the same from your mate. If assured of your faithfulness, your partner is like to forgive many other sins. And stick by you through thick and thin.